Friday, March 11, 2011

DIY haircuts... unless they're "not" DIY

well, blithe and i were sitting on the couch this evening watching iCarly or something, and i looked over at her and thought, hey, her bangs look shorter in one spot. so i says to her, i says,

"hey, your bangs look shorter in one spot."

"wha-?!" she asks, "incredulously." (by the way, you're going to see a lot of quotation marks in this post. you'll understand as we go on.)

"did you cut your bangs or something?" now, to be clear, i'm not upset. i used to do the same thing. heck, i still cut my own hair! so i understand, i really do. i just think it's amusing because while she is following in my shoes with the DIY haircut... she hasn't picked up the importance of a mirror. haha

"um... no..." she replies, avoiding my gaze and messing up her bangs.  awful suspicious, don't you think? {wink}

we keep this up for a moment, and i change my FB status to "so, girlie got A- in drama, but can't lie to save her life. don't tell me you didn't cut your bangs... i'm looking right at you!!! ROFL"

and then it was bedtime. so, upstairs we go. the kidley-winks get themselves into their jammies and i go into her room. we sing along with justin bieber (apparently, it should be him. who knew?!) and then she says, "i didn't cut my bangs, mom."

hmm... interesting... i wasn't saying anything about it... funny she should bring it up, don't you think??? {wink}

"oh, i know," i "reassured" her, "'mom, remember this afternoon when it was staticky so i wet it? yeah, well, i think... i mean, i know that, um, yeah. as my hair dried, it shrank. but just in that one spot. yeah. that's what happened. yup. it shrank. that sounds good.'" and we laughed.

"i don't know," she exclaims, laughing. "maybe it was invisible aliens who sneaked in here and cut my bangs!"

invisible aliens?!?!?!?!

i'm so proud. because that is a story i can get behind. and i did. {wink} here's how it went down, according to me, with some laughing input from girlie:

so, i was sitting in my room, on my bed, you know, right here, and i was singing along with justin bieber, 'cause he's, like, soooo awesome and i love him but who doesn't really i mean come on look at those eyes squeeee!!!! ahem... anyhoo... so i'm sitting here, just minding my own business, and then this alien spaceship, this, like, flying saucer thing, swoops down into my room, with all the lights and stuff, and these little green alien martian people came out and pinned me down on my bed and cut off some of my bangs because they were doing some DNA experiments or something i don't know because i couldn't really talk for some reason i think they drugged me or something and that's why you didn't hear anything even though you were right across the hall. so yeah, then the alien guys climbed back up into their ship and there were the lights and the smoke and then they were gone... with my bangs!!!!! i mean, really, can you believe that?!?!?!?!
that, gentle readers, is the story your children need to memorize. if they pull that out when they think they're in trouble, you're just gonna have to laugh and let it go, because really, if they're going to pull that story off, and they're going to be the kid who had aliens invading their bedroom and cut their hair or whatever... yeah. just stand back, smile, and say, "kid, that was fan. freaking. tastic."

and so, blithe, on this night when, for the first time in your entire life you came up with a most ridiculous explanation for something i wasn't even upset about in the first place, i applaud you. i am so proud. but next time, you need to believe it, then it might be somewhat plausible. at least to someone on tv or something. {wink}


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