i think i can, i think i can, i think i can, i think i can

ok, so, i don't know how many of you readers know this, but i journal. a lot. it helps me to sort through my life, my self, my feelings, my journey in general. so i like it. today, while writing about something else, i branched off into "how can i be better at housework?", and i thought i'd share it with you. now remember, this is from part-way through a journal entry, so the beginning is rather abrupt here. but here you go:

and i'm not quite as good as i'd like to be in some areas. i'd like to be a harder worker.... and i need to work harder at things like integrity, being a role model, self-control, discipline, but also having fun. basically, balance.

God, please make me the woman You want me to be.

yikes! what a prayer!! God, help me to mean that prayer, and don't let me be afraid of that prayer.

but i think it's do-able (strengthening my weaker areas), so long as i remember balance. that's the key. when i get all fired up and go at it in a manic, frenzied determination, it never lasts. i burn out, get discouraged and depressed, and nothing changes.

so what's the trick? what's the path to success? i'm thinking specifically about housework, for example. what are my obstacles?

1. doing it alone
2. lack of routine
3. uber long to do lists
4. emotional exhaustion
5. physical exhaustion
6. an "i hate housework" attitude.

alright, now that i've identified my obstacles, i need to identify some solutions.

• the kids need chores, and those need to be displayed prominently to remind them (and me). i've already assigned the chores; now i just have to display - and enforce - them.
• i need a routine. a daily routine, but also a weekly and - dare i say it? - monthly and - eep! - yearly routine. basically, i need to know what gets done when. i need to make regular time for housework, every day at the same time.
• my uber long to do lists can be shortened, now that i'm thinking about it.

1. make a list of everything that needs to be done
2. assign as many tasks as is possible and reasonable (to kids, to friends - like helping to build stuff around the house, to hired people).
3. rank remaining items by importance and deadline
4. ask of each item: Do i have to do this, or can someone else? how long will this take me to accomplish? how urgent is this item? when MUST it be done by? do i need any supplies to accomplish this?

• emotional exhaustion can be beaten by balancing work and play. going for walks, playing with the kids, creating, working in the garden, coffee with friends. routine will also help with this, since i'll know when work gets done, etc. also, a shortened, organized to do list will prevent me from feeling overwhelmed. cutting myself a bit of slack, remaining realistic in my goals, and not hating myself when i don't succeed right off the bat. i will never be annie brown (love ya, girlie, but we both know it's true! LOL) or martha stewart, but i can do better than what i do now. perfection isn't possible, but improvement is.
• i need to rest. i need to accept help, and i need to ask for help. and i need to sleep. if, in the afternoon, i'm tired, i'll nap. better nutrition will also help. and i think that once i've started working on alleviating my emotional exhaustion, my physical exhaustion will also be taken care of.
• my "i hate housework" attitude is crap, i'll admit. when i get down to doing the job, i generally enjoy it. i like doing laundry. i like doing dishes. what i hate is the seeming un-ending-ness of it all. you know what i mean. how you wash all the dishes, then kids want a drink of juice and bam! a dirty glass. same goes for laundry. and sweeping, now that i'm thinking about it. LOL but once i get a routine in place, and i know when things get done, and i can stay on top of things, it'll be better, and i'll actually start to enjoy housework again. because i used to, once upon a time. and i know i can again. i just have to not feel so overwhelmed, that's all.

i think i can do this. i really do. it's possible. it's totally do-able. and i can succeed at this. wish me luck!!! :)