Fairmeadow Farm CSA

i joined a CSA (community supported agriculture) today. every two weeks, i go to a farm outside of Sparta, and pick up vegetables. the top picture shows you the amounts i get of each of the vegetables.

i should tell you that there is still room at the farm, so if you're interested in getting lots of good organic vegetables, grown locally, it's still possible. in fact, you would get a double share next time.

i'm so excited. i think tomorrow i'm going to make carrot soup for the first time ever! yay!!!!

"First" day of school

blithe and bram, after their first day at school.
bram, tired and a little shell-shocked after his first day at JK. he had a wonderful time, though at this point he was still somewhat overwhelmed by the whole experience.
bram made a friend who helped him at school.

what a day. i don't know quite how i feel about the whole thing. i'm glad they're enjoying it so much. blithe has informed me that i did, in fact, make the right decision, so i guess that helps. they are both really happy to be at school. bram has decided to learn to put on his own shoes by himself, because "that will make Mrs B- so happy." oh, yeah, it's already starting.

so, there you have it. their first day of school.

Oh, yeah, today was fantastic. Ugh.

I got no sleep last night. Asher wasn't sleeping very soundly, and kept tossing and turning. Which meant that his tube kept kinking. Which meant that his feed couldn't go through. Which meant that his alarm kept going off. Which meant that i had to get up.

A lot.

The longest chunk of sleep i got was an hour and a half.

Yeah. Not cool.

Needless to say, i'm tired today.

I went for my second workout at Curves today. It was good, lots of fun. But afterward i was tired. And sweaty. Yuck.

Then i came home.

To my messy house.

And my rambunctious children (including my 3.5-year-old who didn't go to sleep till 11 last night. Yeah).

And a sandbox still full of water and tank engines (but no immunodeficient, medically fragile toddler today).

And my front steps still needing to be repaired.

You can see where this is heading, i'm sure.

This evening, my Facebook status says, "Heather is drained, exhausted and feeling like the world's worst mother." Wanna know why? Ok, here's the list:

1. I'm tired. So i'm cranky. I can't think of a single person today i didn't yell and/or snap at. Oh, yeah, i was at my most delightful today.
   
2. I registered my kids at the public school nearby today. They start there next week. There are several points to this one:
   
   1. I feel like a failure, because i just couldn't do homeschooling. I want to. But right now, i just can't. I feel like i'm giving up. And i hate that.
      
   2. The kids are excited about starting school. Which should be a good thing, right? I mean, i should be happy that they're rolling with this change so well. Except that i feel terrible, because i feel like they think i'm a bad teacher and they're glad i won't be teaching them anymore.
      
   3. There are all kinds of viruses and bugs at public schools. Which blithe and bram will likely bring home. To my toddler with half a heart and no t-cells. So it puts asher at risk.
      
   4. Homeschooling has always been my dream. I'm letting go of my dream.
      
   5. I'm looking forward to time away from my kids. So i can finally get stuff done around the house. Like purging, organizing, painting, repairing, dusting, dishes, tidying, vacuuming, sweeping, laundry... do i really need to go on? The point is i'm happy that they'll be out of the house for the day. What kind of a mother does that make me?
      
   6. I need them out of the house so that i can deal with lawyers and bank/mortgage people, as i divorce their father.
      
3. Last night i ordered a refill of one of asher's reflux meds. Lansoprazole. Yeah, it's still at shoppers. And all the kids are in bed. And i'm the only adult. So i can't go get it.
   
4. The house is a mess, but all i want to do right now is curl up on the couch with a case bottle glass of wine and a book.
   
5. For lunch today we had pizza pockets and Doritos, and for supper we had A&W.
   
6. On our walk tonight, i actually told the kids to stop using their imagination and talking about tank engines. But seriously, when blithe started talking about somehow getting Pinchy off of Diesel 10 with some weird trick that involves throwing sticks and yelling "Yeah! We got Pinchy!" in the street, honestly, i thought i was going to cry.
   
7. I've lost blithe's birth certificate. And mine, for that matter. But i needed hers to register her at school today. So now i have to drive to London to get our family doctor to fill out a form that says that yes, in fact, blithe was born, and then we can send her to school. Blithe, that is, not our family doctor. I'm pretty sure Tracy's done school.
   
8. The stuff from supper (which was, you'll remember, A&W) is still on the table. But blithe still had some chocolate milk left, and i just finished it off.
   

Ok, i think that's about it. Oh, no, wait, it isn't. Today blithe told me that when i yell at them, she gets scared and nervous and doesn't love me as much. And another time, she said she doesn't want to live with me anymore.

I know these days happen sometimes when you're tired and therefore overwhelmed. Most of these things would never bother me on a normal day. Well, except blithe's comments at the end there. On the other hand, on a normal day, i wouldn't yell at them, so that wouldn't have even come up. But really, it was an all-around horrible day around here.

But at least they're all asleep now. Or at least, asher is asleep and blithe and bram are quiet. So maybe i should just curl up in the corner under the covers on the couch and dream of someone to rescue me and take me away from this life drink myself into a stupor read a book.

hi everyone,

i'm writing to let you know that edwin and i have now separated permanently and will be getting a divorce. this has been a long, painful and sorrowful journey for each of us, but in the end, we are parting amicably and peacefully.

we still care for each other deeply, and will be supportive to each other for the rest of our lives. we continue to be best of friends. but we also now realize that we make better friends than spouses.

in all of this, the children are doing well.there is now, at long last, peace between us, and this will help the children.

i really appreciate your prayers and support during this difficult time, and would ask that you continue to pray for us, as the road ahead during the next while will be stressful for all of us.

thank-you so much for your understanding. if you wish to talk, please feel free to contact me.

heather

Bram, the King of Non-Sequiturs

bram and i were cuddling a bit at the park this afternoon. we were chatting.

me: you sure love to cuddle, don't you?

bram: yes, and i have skin.

ok. whatever.

crockpot chicken wings

ok, someone asked about this, so here are the uber-easy instructions for crockpot chicken wings.

buy plain ol' chicken wings at the grocery store. not in the freezer section. go where you would grab chicken breasts, pork chops, ground beef and sausage. the chicken wings should be with the chicken. makes sense. anyhoo...

pay for the wings. i don't want to be held responsible for oodles of people stealing chicken wings. that's just madness. so pay for the wings.

take them home. i'm sure they wouldn't appreciate you setting up a crockpot in the middle of the store.

if you want, spray a bit of cooking spray inside the pot, but you don't have to. i forgot to once, and the wings turned out fine.

dump in the wings.

dump in the sauce. again, i recommend the Diana chicken n' rib sauce, though i'm sure just about any BBQ sauce will do. it's a matter of taste. i prefer Diana, though.

cook the wings on high for about 6 hours. this gets them good and cooked. and when you go to eat them, the meat will be just falling off the bones and melting in your mouth.

there's my "secret" recipe for crockpot wings. i stole it off the "A Year of Crockpotting" blog (the link is on the sidebar). enjoy!

mmm... wings... this is why i can't go veg!

i made chicken wings for supper tonight. i'd post a picture of them, but they're just a pile of bones now, having been devoured by a ravenous hoard of young and old. that's right, they were DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mmmm... chicken.... {drooling like homer simpson}

i put some parchment paper in a pan (haha! makes clean-up so easy - just crumple up the paper and toss it out! God bless whoever invented parchment paper!). i dumped in some raw chicken wings that i picked up at No Frills. then i drizzled them generously (read: obscenely) with sauce. the stuff pictured above. then i tossed them in the oven to bake at 425F for the next hour or so (i don't do recipes, i don't do clocks. i cook it till it looks right. that's what i do, and it works for me. when i time stuff, it doesn't work for some reason. don't ask; i don't understand, either.)

i have tried doing wings in the crockpot, and they're lovely, too. when you cook them slowly all day, the meat just falls off the bone and they're a messy, meaty dream. but i've never used this sauce before. i think it's the sauce that makes all the difference. delish!

they turned out fantastically. and i mean that literally. if you could imagine your ideal chicken wings, this is them. yup, straight out of a beautiful, drool-y, carnivorous fantasy, they are! anyhoo, give them a whirl... you'll drool, too, i promise! :)