best. wreck. ever!!!!!!!

it's my birthday in 5 days. my mom is here right now, but she won't be on tuesday (the 22nd... my birthday... hint hint), so she and the kids made me a b-day cake today.

and i have to say....

best. cake. ever!!!

 after i blew out the candles, blithe said, "wow! it smells like smoke in here!!!" um... i'm not that old... i'm turning 33. not 133!!!

 the proud wreckorators. note that the bottom of the cake is square, and the top is round. and note the crazy angles of some of the candles. 

there it is, in all it's wrecky glory. including, "mome" instead of "mommy." {sniff} it's just... just... so beautiful! {wipes tears}

could i be more proud?? could i be any happier???

nope.

'cause the kidley-winks made me my very own wreck for my birthday. i have the best. kids. ever. 

oh! it just occured to me that some readers might not know why i'd be so excited about a hideous, misspelled cake. check out this website, Cake Wrecks, and you'll understand. :)

DIY haircuts... unless they're "not" DIY

well, blithe and i were sitting on the couch this evening watching iCarly or something, and i looked over at her and thought, hey, her bangs look shorter in one spot. so i says to her, i says,

"hey, your bangs look shorter in one spot."

"wha-?!" she asks, "incredulously." (by the way, you're going to see a lot of quotation marks in this post. you'll understand as we go on.)

"did you cut your bangs or something?" now, to be clear, i'm not upset. i used to do the same thing. heck, i still cut my own hair! so i understand, i really do. i just think it's amusing because while she is following in my shoes with the DIY haircut... she hasn't picked up the importance of a mirror. haha

"um... no..." she replies, avoiding my gaze and messing up her bangs.  awful suspicious, don't you think? {wink}

we keep this up for a moment, and i change my FB status to "so, girlie got A- in drama, but can't lie to save her life. don't tell me you didn't cut your bangs... i'm looking right at you!!! ROFL"

and then it was bedtime. so, upstairs we go. the kidley-winks get themselves into their jammies and i go into her room. we sing along with justin bieber (apparently, it should be him. who knew?!) and then she says, "i didn't cut my bangs, mom."

hmm... interesting... i wasn't saying anything about it... funny she should bring it up, don't you think??? {wink}

"oh, i know," i "reassured" her, "'mom, remember this afternoon when it was staticky so i wet it? yeah, well, i think... i mean, i know that, um, yeah. as my hair dried, it shrank. but just in that one spot. yeah. that's what happened. yup. it shrank. that sounds good.'" and we laughed.

"i don't know," she exclaims, laughing. "maybe it was invisible aliens who sneaked in here and cut my bangs!"

invisible aliens?!?!?!?!


i'm so proud. because that is a story i can get behind. and i did. {wink} here's how it went down, according to me, with some laughing input from girlie:

so, i was sitting in my room, on my bed, you know, right here, and i was singing along with justin bieber, 'cause he's, like, soooo awesome and i love him but who doesn't really i mean come on look at those eyes squeeee!!!! ahem... anyhoo... so i'm sitting here, just minding my own business, and then this alien spaceship, this, like, flying saucer thing, swoops down into my room, with all the lights and stuff, and these little green alien martian people came out and pinned me down on my bed and cut off some of my bangs because they were doing some DNA experiments or something i don't know because i couldn't really talk for some reason i think they drugged me or something and that's why you didn't hear anything even though you were right across the hall. so yeah, then the alien guys climbed back up into their ship and there were the lights and the smoke and then they were gone... with my bangs!!!!! i mean, really, can you believe that?!?!?!?!

that, gentle readers, is the story your children need to memorize. if they pull that out when they think they're in trouble, you're just gonna have to laugh and let it go, because really, if they're going to pull that story off, and they're going to be the kid who had aliens invading their bedroom and cut their hair or whatever... yeah. just stand back, smile, and say, "kid, that was fan. freaking. tastic."

and so, blithe, on this night when, for the first time in your entire life you came up with a most ridiculous explanation for something i wasn't even upset about in the first place, i applaud you. i am so proud. but next time, you need to believe it, then it might be somewhat plausible. at least to someone on tv or something. {wink}

chores, chores, chores

so now, as always, housework must be dealt with. and as you know, i hate housework. i HATE housework. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!

but i have kids who are now old enough to help out around the house. seven, four and two are old enough for jobs (albeit very simple jobs for the 2-year-old). yes, folks, THIS is why i bred. in the hopes that, one day, however distant it seemed at the time, there would be someone here to mow the lawn, shovel the snow, take out the garbage, tidy the house, do the dishes... basically, everything. teehee

and so, on that note, i give you.... .... THE CHORE LIST!!!!

Blithe (age 7)
feed Smokey... twice daily. (it's her job b/c smokey's food and dishes have to be on top of the dryer, out of charlie's reach. but this also puts it out of bram's reach, so it falls to blithe.)

make her bed

put clothes in hamper

help with supper prep

drying the dishes

sweeping (her request, b/c "i LOVE sweeping!")


Bram (age 4)
feed Charlie (our new doggie - boxer/shar pei mix - he's awesome, though dumb as dirt! but i love him!). (once daily.)

make his bed

pick up cars, trains, tracks

help with lunch prep

wash the dishes (he specifically requested this one, and really, who am i to argue? [see why i bred comment above]). (and let me explain this task: he's mostly washing plastic stuff, and the cutlery, minus sharp knives. i may be lazy... er, i mean, ready and willing to instill in my kids a good work ethic... but i do have enough sense not to hand him a butcher knife or china tea cup to wash.)


Asher (age 2)
tidy cars, trains and tracks

put plastic dishes, etc away

help with laundry (now let me explain this task: i take the clothes out of the washing machine one by one, and hand them to him. he puts them in the dryer. and later... i take the clothes out of the dryer one by one, and hand them to him. he puts them in the laundry basket. and we spend the whole time talking about colours, shapes, animals, favourites, etc etc etc)


so far, so good. i've already had to shoo the kids away from the sink b/c they had other jobs they needed to do more urgently than dishes. and they've been feeding the animals very well over the last couple days already. except bram, who seems to think that it's too much work to put more than 4 or 5 bits of food in charlie's dish, but he'll learn. lol

and this isn't to say i've delegated all the work to the kids. as you can imagine, i have a TON of stuff to do around here, including re-arranging the house, organizing the chaos, grocery stuff, cooking, washing pots and pans, laundry, and wishing i could afford a housekeeper. lol

i'll let you know how it all goes in a week (provided i can still find my laptop by then).

meet Sally

this is Sally, the newest member of our household. isn't she lovely? blithe found "her" at Springbank Park the other day and she just had to bring her home.

i'll admit, for a while there i didn't think Sally was even "with us" anymore, but then it occured to me that we hadn't given her anything to eat, so the night before last, i dropped two spinach leaves in there. by morning, there was only part of one leaf left. so, spinach it is. and actually, one of the most fascinating parts of the day is sitting and watching her eat (which would leave me unable to actually eat, if i had several people just sitting and watching me eat. but i have issues. obviously, sally is a little more well-adjusted than i am. lol)

i'm using this as an on-going science lesson for the kids. they're absolutely loving this caterpillar! they're both enjoying watching her eat and move around and sleep and... well, actually, that's about all she does. so far, there's no coccoon or anything. just a lot less spinach in my house. ;) but if anything develops, you know i'll post.

career goals... and sit down before you read... bram's will surprise you...

ok, so tonight we read a little board book about different jobs/careers. sort of a "when i grow up i wanna be a..." kind of thing. well, here's what the kids declared:

• Blithe: a veteranarian (sp?). that way she can be a doctor, but also work with kitties and goldfish and horses. honestly, she listed those animals in particular.
• Bram: (are you sitting down? i'm not joking here, folks) ok, so, if you've met bram, you're likely thinking farmer or trucker. or perhaps a combination of the two. or a conductor on a train. nope. that's not what he said tonight. he has two goals: painter and actor. stop laughing. i'm not joking.
• Asher: he yelped something from the other room (he was already in bed, but likely heard my jaw hit the floor), but to be honest, i didn't quite catch it. something about "anything but paeds cardio for me, thank-you very much!" (or maybe i'm just projecting a bit there, lol)

there you go. my kids' career goals. interesting, wouldn't you say? ;)

Theology 101 at Blithe Peters Seminary (i don't know what denomination, or even if it's accredited, though)

and i'm quoting here:

"mommy, you know what? God is an alien."

that's it. no room for questioning. just "God is an alien."




*****here's her reasoning: Daddy told her that God lives in heaven, and that heaven is in outer space. she made the leap to "God is an alien." how's that for systematic theology?! yup, she's gonna be a famous theologian someday... or maybe, infamous... lol

ok, this is just too funny

so, last night, i took the kids to my friends' 25th anniversary open house. we were sitting at a table, munching and chatting. well, the kids were very tired, and granted, i may have forgotten the "be on your best behaviour or we're leaving" conversation, but whatever. they know the rules. anyway...

let's just say, the kids weren't at their best. so, i said that if i had to speak to them one more time about their behaviour, we would leave. blithe was not impressed with that idea. (which is fine, i wasn't impressed by her behaviour, so whatever.) anyway, i said, with a smile on my face, "blithe, who's the boss in our family?" she answered, sullenly, "you are." "that's right," said i, "so what does that mean?" "we have to do what you say... but can't someone else be the boss for once? like bram or me? please?"

um, let me think.... no. but still, nice try, kiddo. lol